Tough Kiddo

This surgery recovery has been hard. More than what I expected. Ricky was such a go with the flow kind of baby I thought he would go with the flow. Well we got a peek inside of his mouth to see the repair work.

1. His gums - his cleft went to the gum. He had two small gaps on each side of his front teeth. Well now he is sewn up there.

2. Stitches in the middle of his palate.

4. Packing on each side of his mouth. For those who don't know, how they fix the cleft palate is that they basically remove the skin off the palate - what is there basically and they shift it to the middle to close the whole. The sides are left raw since tissue will go back there - they place dissolveable packing there with several stitches.

No wonder why this kiddo is in pain eh? Well Thursday we really hit rock bottom. One word to those who are following with children still needing the repair - STAY ON SCHEDULE. Okay more than one word but stay on schedule with Tylenol with Codeine. We were going with the way Ricky was acting not on schedule. Well he was fine so we didn't give him medicine. Well then it hit him and it took hours, long hours to get him back to feeling okay. We ended up having to syringe force feed fluids into him because he wouldn't eat or drink.

Eating and Drinking really isn't normal. Ricky was a pig about eating. Well he has definitely slowed down. He just have no real interest in eating unless it what his Sissy is eating. Oh yeah, we have gotten his addicted to Diet Coke. He wasn't drinking at all but shown interest in Daddy's coke. So we got desperate. Yes he drank Diet Coke. Now when he sees a can he gets all excited. We are weaning him off.

Ricky has also become the Velcro baby. Those familar with adoption know that sometimes when you get home from China - the baby doesn't want to be put down because he/she is anxiously attached to you. Ricky was never really this way. He liked to be held but was much more independent. Well I think he has finally figured out we are Mommy and Daddy. He is very much a Velcro baby. We are trying to accomodate him but also try to teach him his independence. He does like to sleep on us now - never did before. He also comes for us to comfort - never did before.

Sleep is another issue. Ricky was pretty good about sleep. It did take the first month home to really get him to sleep through the night. Well now we are up 2-3 times a night. We are very very tired. Hopefully this regression will go away as he starts to feel better.

We are home from Surgery

Sorry I couldn't post an update. Childrens Hospital blocks blogspot. I forgot how to email the blog.

The Fast Facts

1. Ricky didn't have anything to eat since 7:30 pm the night before. He did great. Didn't even ask for food. Surgery was scheduled for 9:20.

2. They did take us on time!

3. Surprise to us, they didn't knock him out before taking him away from us. They gave him a sedative but he wasn't knocked out yet. He went with no problems. Mommy cried though.

4. Procedure was done within 1 hour. Wow a quick job! Ear tubes, gum reconstruction and palate repair.

5. Thank god for Childrens Hospital of Atlanta - it was a wonderful experience - well as best as can be expected. They definitely made it easier.

6. 4 hands are better than 2. Bill was going to go home that evening to take care of Emily. Well after reading the Straights blog I told Bill he be better stay. Thank God. Ricky had a tough 2 days. Didn't want to be let down. We always had to hold him even when sleeping.

7. No drinking from Ricky led us to another night in the hospital. On Tuesday he started to eat, I cried. Still no real drinking. We think his gums are bothering him. Dr. visited us and told us we could go in the am if he is eating.

8. Ricky ran laps Tuesday afternoon around the nurses station.

9. Let's pray for a good night of sleep for all - Ricky in crib and Mommy/Daddy in bed.

Surgery on Monday April 14th

Ricky is having surgery on the 14th - not sure of the time yet.


Please think of him on Monday as he goes through this.

Please think of him as he will have a great deal of pain for the first couple of day.

Please think of me as I will need all the patience in the world to get through the next couple of weeks.

I have had a tough couple of months bonding. I think we have started to make some serious improvements in the last week. I hope we continue to strengthen our bond. I hope this surgery doesn't set us back.

Billy Goat

Ricky seems to have taken a liking to leaves. He ate one and got it stuck in his open palate. Yes a leaf.

We didn't know...

He has sinus issues for the past two weeks. We took him to the dr two weeks ago and she gave us some medicine. It was getting better then all of sudden it got worse - cough and fever.

Took him to the pediatrician. She said his nose stunk plus she could see something black. She couldn't get it out.

Off to the ENT.

This was a first for the ENT - they got it out and was very surprised to see a leaf. He goes down in the record books.

Here is a picture of the leaf. We suspect it has been there over a week.

New Pictures of Ricky

2 months of Ricky!

2 months ago tomorrow, Ricky came into our lives. Here is picure from our first night together.

In the last 2 months, Ricky has gained almost 5 lbs. He knows 6-8 signs to communicate with us. He knows his mommy, daddy, sister and doggy. He loves both sets of grandma's and grandpa's. He definitely knows the word No. He can follow some commands for example the new one - we wipe his nose with a tissue. I can tell him to put it in the garbage and he understands. I can tell him to put some blocks in his tonka truck and he understands. He understands alot of English words. I have not counted - most of the understanding is in context of what we are doing.

We still have night terrors but they are not bad. He wakes up screaming and we can now put him back down and he will typically fall back to sleep. He loves to play with his sister, Emily. Wrestling is a new sport in our house.

Here is some recent photo's of the little man....

Bad Mommy

Sorry I have been really bad about updating everyone. I got really sick when we got home from China. Started out as a stomach virus then moved to a chest cold then I got the flu. A really bad strain of the flu. I had a fever for over 3 weeks. Finally the doc prescribed some strong antibiotics and I think I have kicked it. They think I brought something back from China. What I'm left with is a body that is very sore and I feel like I'm a walking sponge. The doc said it could take 2-4 weeks to get my strength back. Just walking around the supermarket is a strain.

It has been a rough time. Not at all what I have imagined. I guess I built this adoption up to be the greatest thing. Not that Ricky isn't great but there is certain let down when things don't go exactly as planned. During this illness, we lost our dog Shelby. She passed away after being with us for over 13 years. She was my first baby. I miss her very much and still expect her to be next to me. She slept on the side of my bed. We still have Stitch the pug. Stitch has been great with Ricky.

Ricky is doing well. He is very attached to all of us and knows that we are his family. He is smart stubborn little boy. We have been teaching him sign language. He now knows: more, eat, milk, cracker, mama, dada, and baby. We are working on banana, cookie and dog. Not bad considering we only started this about 3 weeks ago. He is understanding converstations in context of things. If we are playing ball, and I can tell him to go get the ball. However, if I say ball without the playing he really doesn't understand it. Cognitively they are telling me he is around 9-12 months old. This is really to be expected so this doesn't shock me.

We have made some improvement in playing. He plays with his Leap Frog activity table and loves the ABC song. He is starting to react to music.

We go for our formal speech and occupational assessment by the state on Tuesday. This will tell us definitely if he qualifies for therapy. There is no doubt on the speech he qualifies.

We also met with the Craniofacial Team at Scottish Rite. We have scheduled Ricky's surgery for April 14th. We are also trying to arrange to get him ear tubes done at the same time. Ricky has some mild hearing loss which is also to be expected with the cleft.

As for me, this adjustment has been rough. Has it gotten better? yes. Do I feel like Ricky is my son and no longer someone I'm just babysitting? yes - most of the time. I really wish that love was instantenous. I felt bad that it wasn't. You know I was "in love" with his picture but I now realize I didn't love him at the time of referral. I have struggled with this fact that love didn't come right away. No one prepares you for this. For some, it comes right away, for others it grows. I guess I'm the growing type. Bill wasn't "in love" with his picture but I really think he had love at first sight.

For the last month I have struggled with my feelings. Why did we do this? How could I have changed our family dynamics? I did this and I don't love Ricky. I felt quite guilty and depressed over this. I'm a mother. A mother loves. Ricky didn't ask for this. He deserves so much better than what I was giving. I thought I was prepared. I read books on attachment and I read blog after blog. What is interesting is no one mentions this but I have been contacted by many who have felt the same way. It is like a silent society that exists. We are too ashamed to admit that we don't love the ones that we adopt right away. Combine this with illness, jet lag and everyday normal life - you can get quite depressed.

I am happy to say that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I can see that I'm growing to love Ricky just as he is growing to love us as his family. He is a very sweet and funny little boy who is my son. I cannot imagine our life without him. Our life certainly isn't easier but it is definitely better because of him.