One of the great things that has come out of our adoption is meeting other families that have adopted. Last Sunday, we went to Stone Mountain for their Christmas festival with Nic, Tim, and Zubin. We had a great time! I think Ricky has a secret crush on Nicole as he abandons me when we see each other.
No I'm not talking about Poop..
I'm talking about Ricky.
Ricky is delayed in some cognition areas mostly due to speech. But we are beginning to make strides in these areas because he is finally starting to talk.
For many months, we have been going over colors.
He can sort his colors. We play with different color army men and he will sort them into different stacks.
I have been trying to teach him Red, Blue, Green, Black, White, Yellow.
He finally got it. I have a set of cards that teach colors. He got them right. At first I thought he was just guessing. So then I pulled out a toy that each bug is a different color. He got them right. I think he knows his colors.
The reason for the stinker - he LOVES to give you the wrong answer just to see what reaction he gets. I asked him what color was my jacket - he said Yellow (it was black). He smirked. I raised my eyebrows. He said Black. Then I said what color is Sissy's jacket. He said like Mama - black.
What a stinker!
He does this all the time with animal sounds. Pigs go meow, dogs go oink oink, cats go moo. He laughs hysterically when he does this.
He also now knows his shapes as well - square, circle, triangle, heart, and star!
Oh yeah, one more thing to make him laugh - for some reason he things the word butt (as in your behind) is funny. You say butt and he laughs till he drops on the floor!
I have a small brag about myself. Rarely I brag about myself.
Most of you know I do volunteer work for Love Without Boundaries.
I got an email from an adoption agency - I'm on their list for SN kids that are available. No we are not adopting again.
This email stated that a SN boy age 13 was aging out of the China adoption program. Once you turn 14 you cannot be adopted by Chinese law. Several times this agency tried to find a family. Twice a family said that they would adopt him. Twice it fell through. Now a third family stepped up and gave this boy his dream - a family. They had 4 weeks to complete this adoption. They have to be in China by mid Dec.
This special family was already adopting a SN girl. They got approved for this second adoption.
Except they had no funds to complete this adoption.
I saw he was in our LWB program. Well I sent a email to our medical director who sent an email to LWB board of directors. This family got an LWB grant.
Today I was this boy's guardian angel.
What a feeling.
I can make a difference.
When I started my work with LWB, I wanted to make a difference. My work with LWB is on the admin side - tracking donations. I didn't think I could see the difference I was making.
Well today I saw I can make a difference for children in China.
What a feeling.
About a month ago, I sat down and read Elizabeth Elias's personal memoir "Don't Call Me Mother." Don't Call Me Mother is Elizabeth's personal journey of infertility and adoption of two children - a son from a domestic adoption and a daughter from China.
The first words out of my mouth was "Where was the this book when I needed it." I connected in so many ways to Elizabeth's journey through infertility then then through adoption. It was like I was re-living my journey as I read her words. I thought I was alone. Now I know I'm not. I thank Elizabeth for being so honest in feelings and writing them down for all to see. It is hard to admit to yourself and to others that you do not immediately love your adopted child. There is so much guilt involved over not loving your adopted child immediately.
This book is a must read for all potential adoptive parents. I read so much on the attachment issues of child to parent but this is really the first book that really talked from the heart of attachment issues of the parent to the child.
Thank you Elizabeth for letting me know and others know that we are not alone in this journey.
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Personal Note:
Thankfully I'm past my post-adoption depression/attachment issues but it still haunts me. I wonder what harm I did to both Ricky and Emily during those the rough first year. I love you both very much and I cannot imagine my world, my life without both of them. Also thanks to the most wonderful husband in the world who rode the storm with me and didn't judge me as a I struggled to get through this.
