Thursday, January 21, 2010

2 Years with Us

Today is the day that we met Ricky for the first time. Really it was all a blur for me. I think was running on adrenaline. We missed our flight to Hong Kong due to weather so we only had one day in China to prepare. We didn't know how to work our new camera or camcorder. The camera wouldn't take any more pictures because I had it on the wrong setting. Too many pictures not enough space. So I had to erase all the pictures I took on the way to Fuling SWI because I needed pictures of Ricky not the countryside.

Ricky was so much smaller than what we thought he would be. He was 16 1/2 months old but was wearing 9 month clothing. He cried and cried when we met him. We finally pulled out the Cheerios and he became our friend. This was about 10 minutes after meeting him for the first time. He still wasn't happy but at least he wasn't screaming. From what we were told he was moved from foster care to the SWI about a week prior. So he probably went through alot of grieving prior to us getting him.

We had a couple of things surprise us. One - He didn't really grieve - other than that first moment of crying (well more like 10 minutes), he was okay with us. I was expecting alot more grief. I have figured out since then he is a go with the flow type of kid. He reacts okay to change. He does like structure but after a bit - he just goes with it.

Two - He was very very active. He was climbing all over us and seats of the bus on the way back from the orphanage. He wouldn't sit still. This should have been a clue to us! This hasn't changed.

Three - He came to us running. In December we got a report that he was taking a few steps but I really thought China embellished this report. Well this was the one thing that was correct. He was running. Emily and Ricky chased each other in the hallway of the Hotel.

Four - He is a clown. I say that affectionately but this kid likes to make you laugh. It was apparent in China and still is today. Here is my clown then:

and my clown now:
My little baby is growning to a little boy each day. We have grown to love each other. Our love wasn't immediate like some adoptive parents and we had some really huge struggles in attaching to each other (well really me to him). It took Ricky and I over a year (maybe 12-14 months) to bond and it was hard year on me, Bill and Emily. We struggled alot to maintain our family bond.
Our first year home with Ricky represented alot of struggles emotionally. I didn't know if we would survive.
We turned a crucial corner our second year home. We have a lot of laughs, joy and love now in the family. One of my favorite quotes comes from Emily " Who needs TV when we have Ricky".
Emily has taken on the role of big sister quite well and is teaching him all the bad things to do - she says it is her job. She was older than her years before we adopted him but now, she acts like the kid she is suppose to be. Ricky idolizes her and follows her around like a lost puppy. It does get on her nerves at times but that is what little brothers are suppose to do.
Ricky, my son, I love you. There was a time when I didn't think that I would be able to say those words and mean it. But with all my heart, I do. You are a special little boy. I'm very glad that we are your family.


Anonymous said...

We love you Ricky.

Cavatica said...

What an awesome journey!!!

Michele said...

Very sweet. Happy Anniversary.

Anonymous said...

we just adopted a cleft boy who sounds a lot like ricky (but he is almost 3 years.) we just found out that our son's teeth are so bad (as in rotten) that we have to get them fixed before they can do the palate surgery. another road block in this journey. i have found it difficult at times to bond to him as he is very very needy all the time and very very active as in never stops! which i understand but it is tiring.

my older daughter has been going through a difficult adjustment as well and on some level i miss my time with her. all of this is very tough on the family. so thanks for your honesty and i'm glad to hear that with time things improved.