Oh Where to Begin.....

Typically when there is a show on China on the television, we tend to watch or videotape it. It is our way of educating ourselves. When there is a show on Chinese Adoption, again we tend to watch them -- maybe we will find out something we don't know. Well on Friday night, Bill and I watched Paula Zahn's NOW show on Chinese Adoption. We did find out some new things - it is great when we can educate ourselves. This is what we found out:

1) We are racists.

2) We are adopting from China because Chinese babies are smarter, cuter, healthier than American babies.

3) That we are racists (Oh yeah did I say that)

4) American's are obsessed with China Dolls.

For those who didn't get the glorious chance to watch the show. Click on the following link for a transcript: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0701/05/pzn.01.html.

The panel implied that people that adopt from China do not adopt african-american babies because we like the skin color of our China Dolls better. By the way the use of the word China Doll insinuates that Asian women are hypersexual, submissive, "exotic", feminine, and eager to please white males. They said that we do not adopt african-american babies because we don't see them as smart or as hardworking as our Chinese children.

If you look back to one of my first posts on Why China? -- we clearly explain that we want a baby, no mention of a cute or smart child was made. We looked at our domestic options. Honestly, we didn't like what we saw. First, Bill and I are of mixed faith -- a complication for most "Christian" agencies. Second, we did want to be in competition with other adoptive families. Yes, it is a competition on who the birthmother is going to pick. A marketing campaign on why Bill and I would make great parents to another child. Frankly, I have had enough beauty pagent competitions in high school to last me a lifetime. I don't want to be judged on looks or how much money we have. Judge me on me. Third, we wanted a closed adoption. Frankly, the US adoption system is more and more open. Fourth, the risk -- yes there is a risk with international, but I don't want to be matched with a birthmother then find out that she has changed her mind. I have met family after family through our adoption process in which they have had failed domestic adoptions take place. Domestic Adoption advocates say it doesn't happen -- well I have heard enough from families in which it has.

If someone would just give us a baby, I wouldn't care if the baby was green, blue, white, yellow or black.

Back to the show...

This show was suppose to be about the new regulations around the Chinese adoption. It turned out to be a forum for 3 panelists that a specific agenda. The fact the Paula Zahn was responsible for putting together this show (or at least her producers), shows that she is a farce as a journalist.

The attorney that was on the show was Solangel Maldonado. She is a professor at Seton Hall and has written a paper on Discouraging Racial Preferences in Adoption. In this paper she surmises all my reasons that I stated above are a bunch of bull and I have an unconscious bias towards white or asian children because I don't want a african american child. Heck, if Ethiopia was just a bit more stable, we would have gone there. She goes on to state that there should be a law that prohobits people from applying for an international adoption until they have waited a full year for a domestic adoption to take place -- in a particular where they have shown they have waited for an african american baby. Freaking unbelieveable.

Ok -- I do believe some people do look for white babies but get real to lump all chinese adoptive parents into this mix is a joke. Heck, I live in the South, raising my child Jewish -- not an easy thing. We will be the object of attention when we adopt a chinese baby. We would the be same object of attention if we were to adopt an african american baby. I could have taken the easy way out and raised Emily Catholic like her dad or adopt a white baby -- but no, easy isn't always right.

I'm getting all riled up again...as is the entire Chinese adoptive community. The boards have been on a letter writing campaign. I certainly hope CNN takes notice and issues a statement in regards to this show.

The real question is why are Americans looking for babies outside of America? Perhaps a show on the failures of the US Adoption Laws and US social services is the true reasons.

Jen

my other children

We also have two dogs that I consider my babies...

Shelby the Sheltie is my old lady. My dh bought her for me for our first valentine's day together (just 4 months after we met). She is now over 12 years old. This picture is old but it is one of my favorite pictures.

Shelby playing dress up!

Here is the Stitch our pug. She has a personality of a clown. She is 2 1/2 now. If you now the movie Lilo and Stitch, Stitch was named after that character by Emily. Well much to our chagrin, the name fits her.

Referrals are in...Whooppee

Ok I know I need to improve my attitude.

This represents about 2 weeks of LIDs I guess.

no speed up...

Happy Birthday to one Wicked Witch! Happy Birthday Nic!

Happy New Year and The Wait

Well as we welcome the new year, we have to be a bit more realistic about the wait. I continue to hope that things speed up but I do not see any signs to this.

Recently, the CCAA (the dept that handles adoptions in china) announced new regulations for China. This has been all over the news. See Rumor Queen link for full regulations. Are we affected by them. Well our agency says since we are logged in already, they say we are okay. Are we really? I'm not sure, I hope so. We (both Bill and I ) have started our weight loss plan. One of the new restrictions is over BMI. I'm over the BMI -- just a bit. I'm hoping I can loose the weight before we are reviewed. If China has a problem with us, they will notify us for updated medical. I figure we have at least 6 months before we are reviewed. So in case they ask, we will have our ducks in a row.

Also, regarding the wait. On the Rumor Queen link she posted a calculation to figure out how far away we are from referral. We are basically 348 LID dates away. It has taken 2.3 months to get through a month of dates. 348 x 2.3 / 30 days = 26 months from referral. That is from TODAY. So given this, referral won't occur until 2009. Yes 2009. I'm sick to my stomach about that. I knew this would be a long process but I didn't figure 2009. I thought I was informed. I researched, I searched, I read. I was informed as I thought I could be. I typically don't things half-assed. Well, now I feel like I knew nothing. They have only referred 6 months of dates for the past 15 months. I didn't know that. Our agency didn't tell us. Do I think they lied to us....well they quoted us what the recent referral time was and told us it could change. We were quoted 14-16 months of waiting. We were so excited about the possiblity of new baby, that you sort of ignore the bad news and think only of the good. It has never been this slow before. Bill wants to be optimistic about the wait saying things will speed up. I think he only says that to keep me sane.

I still believe China is the right choice for us. What are alternatives?

1. Domestic Adoption? I'm really not up for our own adoption system here in the US. It is way to open for me. [note, it might be right for others but not for me]. I also couldn't take the heart ache of a possible birthmother changing her mind.
2. Foster Care -- we have talked about this as well. again, i'm not sure I could handle loving a child only to have to give the child back. [again, this is right for some, but not for me]
3. Infertility Treatment -- go back to trying again. Well I just gave up my insurance which covered infertility treatment 100 percent. I would need some major surgery to possibly fix the problem. If i have the surgery and it doesn't work -- they I'm knocked out of china because you cannot have major surgery. The surgery they want to do is not a guarantee of fertility.
4. Another country -- Vietnam and Ethiopia are the ones I would be interested in but I'm not convinced it is the right move.

so for now we wait........and wait......and wait....

Emily sings

Emily is 6 and was asked to sing at her schools 4th and 5th grade chorus production. The only 1st grader to sing! The video quality is horrible so please excuse that! I just sat through the whole thing and cried.

THREE MONTH LID ANNIVERSARY and ramblings

Another month down, I guess a baby step closer.

We got an a website post for our agency in regards to new restrictions/changes coming from China. Supposedly, we will be grandfathered in. The only one I'm worried about is weight if we are not grandfathered in. Well time to get motivated. I need to move it and loose it. So of course, after the holidays, ha ha....My new years resolution will be...yes..the one I have every year...to loose some weight.

You might ask why wait....well the Christmas tree... (Yes I know I'm Jewish -- but we celebrate Christmas because Bill is catholic and Emily still believes in Santa. She is just so cute about it. I cannot break her dreams yet. When I was a kid, I wanted to believe in Santa. I could never understand why Santa didn't come to our house. I do think next year we will only celebrate Hanukkah as it is getting too expensive to do both!) back to the tree..

The christmas tree is occupying the space where the treadmill was....so conveniently I have to wait....

Oh yeah, the wait will not shorten per China....they won't state how long it will get. Just wonderful........